GENDER REVEAL! WE'RE HAVING A ....

I still can't quite believe that we've got past the 20 week mark and that in January 2018 we'll turn into a family of four! Due to this pregnancy being high risk and the brilliant support we've had from the NHS, we actually found out the sex of this baby a few weeks ago but I didn't feel comfortable sharing the news until we had our 20 week scan and I knew everything was fine.

WE HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS!

Oh hey you lovely lot! Sorry it's been a bit slow to post on here and hopefully this will explain a lot of the radio silence, but if you haven't already seen our exciting news over on Instagram and Facebook, we are becoming a family of FOUR! Yes in January we are expecting our rainbow baby!

We have been blown away by all your wonderful messages, comments and kind wishes sent our way over on social media and just want to say a huge thank you for all the love you've shown us!

As some of you may know this has been an extremely long journey for us and we are already so so thankful to have such a beautiful, kind, sweet and loving son who is waaaay to cute for his own good. As I've only touched upon our story briefly on here, I thought this would be a good opportunity to document it all in one space and share my thoughts on it so far...  erm you might want to make a cuppa and get comfy ...

This pregnancy is a total miracle, a true Rainbow baby! After three miscarriages (four babies) and a full year of investigations by a fertility specialist, we were given the numbing results that we had less than 5% chance of having another child. My ovaries were shutting up shop also known as Premature Ovarian Failure. 

In all honestly I was traumatised after loosing our first pregnancy at 15 weeks to Parvovirus (also known as Slapped Cheek) and it took a long time for the fog to lift, so when we suffered our second miscarriage and then third miscarriage I felt broken. We were advised to try IVF as our only route and to make a decision quickly due to my faltering hormones. So we talked and talked and cried and talked some more before booking in the treatment. However we were advised that even using ICSI our odds were still way below 20% and at almost £7000 a go we knew we would only have one shot at growing our family.

Now let's rewind back to early May, after spending a weekend with all my family and being particularly agitated and somewhat obsessed with lemon meringue pie, my mam tentatively suggested I do a pregnancy test. Annoyed at the suggestion due to our treatment starting the next day, I eventually agreed as my mam was convinced something was amiss and imagine our shock to see those two pink lines staring up at us! It felt like a miracle, cue tears, laughter, fear and more tears.

Since then the NHS have been nothing short of amazing, due to the pregnancy being high risk we have had scans every two weeks, given all sorts of drugs to help support the pregnancy and they have been at the end of the phone for every anxious moment or worrysome pain. Our consultant said she wasn't sure how this had happened but was thrilled, our councellor cried at the news and for the first part of of the pregnancy I remained in full denial, terrified that each scan would bring bad news.

As the weeks have progressed, my tummy has blossomed and is now hard to hide! So I have finally come to the conclusion that this is actually happening and I'm trying to enjoy it inbetween the nasuea, headaches and extreme fatigue that are still plaguing me at 15 weeks.

We have opted to find out the sex of our new arrival so we have plenty of time to find a meaningful name and make sure F is comfortable and excited about becoming a big Brother. We are so thankful and excited for this little precious person growing and hopefully joining us Jan, until then we are trying to stay postive and enjoy this crazy ride!

Once again thanks so much for all your kind words and support and I just want to send love out to all those who are struggling in their own journey right now.

xx

AND THEN YOU WERE THREE

I wonder where this time has gone, as I sneak into your room at 1.32am and take a snapshot of you peacefully sleeping, capturing the time you entered the world every year. As the minute hand pushes forward you are changed from the two year old to a whole world of three. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was handed this small warm pink wriggling creature, your eye's blinking against the light, checking out your new surroundings.

Today you woke with gusto as usual and shouted for me to come into your room and play – and I'm glad we made it to the other side of 6am this morning unlike yesterday – you squealed in delight as you ran into a room of presents and balloons that decorated our small lounge, and my heart aches as you grow up just that little bit more.

No longer can I really remember all the little things you did as a baby, I thought I'd remember them but you don't, as sleep deprivation and life in general gets in the way. For now I want to remember these things about you:

• Every night without fail you will reach your hand up to my face as I read you a story or sing you to sleep, and gently play with my eyelashes. You've done this every since you could control your hand and this habit remains.
• You pronounce burgers as burglars, which always gets a giggle out of us.
• You have a favourite freckle on your finger and you get upset if it gets covered by pen as you think it's gone.
• You charge £50 when selling anything in your shop no matter what it is.
• You won't let either of us leave the house without a cuddle or a family cuddle.
• You're becoming a bit of a pro on the drums and I can see the budding musician in you.
• Whenever you get super excited you grit your teeth and shake your fists.
• You're slightly obsessed with dinosaurs.

You may now be growing into a strong minded little boy but in my eyes you will always be my baby, and I thank you for these precious three years.

Love from your doting mama xx

A GOOD BOOK // When I Was Born

In celebration of my friend's little boy joining the world, I thought this would be the perfect good book.  I looked down at this tiny new being, fingers curled into tiny fists and my ovaries literally ached – newborns always make me broody. Then I glance up at my giant almost three year old racing round the room like a tornado and wonder where the time went. I almost can't remember what F was like to hold in those first few week of life. You think you'll remember, but you don't.

When I was Born is a prefect way of reminiscing those first moments or explaining the arrival of a new sibling. The striking graphic imagery of this book is beautiful, award winning and perfect for capturing the attention of younger children with its bold bright colours .

But I could not imagine 

how the waves speak when they come and go.

or how, when the wind sings, 

the trees sing too.

The simple things we take for granted are explored with a beautiful poetic style that flows through this book, and hopefully reignites your desire for adventure.

COOL FOR KIDS

Image source Corby Tinderstick

I'm always on the look out for cool kids products that combine function and design, so these plush toys by Corby Tindersticks are right up my street. They are a great change from the usual teddies and dolls that kids tend to have en masse and each toy has its own quirky character. Printed with eco friendly inks and manufactured in the UK these cool toys are great for kids and adults alike.  We're definitely a member of the Corby Tindersticks Fan Club.

A GOOD BOOK // Sparkle and Spin

Sparkle and Spin by Ann & Paul Rand is one of my favourite children's classics and was one of the first books I introduced to F. It was always within arms reach, like an old friend ready to comfort him during a grizzly moment. With the combination of bold illustrations and rhythmic playful words spilling over its pages, this book is nothing less than a sensory feast.

I remember F's eyes darting back and forth soaking up the colours and shapes whilst clumsy fingers stretched out to stroke the pages. Now he is OH so bigger, he prefers to act out the 'bang' or 'boo' and 'whisper' through bursts of giggles. Perfect for the developing eyes of babes, F still enjoys a sitting of Sparkle and Spin.