15 January 2018
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
** So this one is a bit of a special one, as it's the first post that Paul has written for Wild & Grizzly! It certainly has been a journey so it's nice to hear his side of this whole crazy pregnancy journey and his thoughts on choosing a baby girl name. **
What’s in a name? Well, it seems like quite a lot!
So here we are, nearing the end of pregnancy, about to welcome a new baby into the world, a new daughter, a new sister. It’s been a long journey. I’ve always wanted two children, I’m not sure why, but two seems right for us, though Lori would argue for three or four, or maybe even more. Though for those of you who read the blog know, to get to this stage, well, it hasn’t been easy. We’re incredibly lucky to be expecting at all, it’s crazy and wonderful and unbelievable and amazing…we’re incredibly lucky.
So what do you do with all of that luck, how do you turn that into a name? When we had our first child we just knew (well, Lori did) straight from the 20 week scan, the name was sorted, in place, it fitted, it was perfect and has been perfect ever since. We love our little free-spirited boy, he is wild like his mummy and sometimes grizzly like his daddy (though never as much, that would be impossible). So, we need another perfect name, out of all the names in the world, that shouldn’t be too hard, right?
Due to all the extra care and attention received from the NHS we very early on knew the sex of our new baby, we were told at 15 weeks, “It’s a girl!” (A quick aside here, as I just want to take a moment to acknowledge how amazing the NHS support we have had has been; it has held us through this whole pregnancy and still does, with considered and sympathetic, gentle care. NHS, we thank you, deeply). How lucky are we? As I said, incredibly lucky! But it obviously wasn’t quite as straight forward as that.
As mentioned, this has been a long journey. There has been so much loss, heartache, disbelief, bad luck, anguish, pain, anxiety, sadness. As I’m sure so many of you know, getting pregnant and having a baby is not as easy as Sex Ed once told us it was. What’s also surprising, is that when you start to open up about the difficulties of getting pregnant and having a baby, so many other people open up with their own stories, their own problems and pain. There is definitely a huge amount of empathy here for you. So, if you’re fortunate to actually get pregnant after going through so much, you almost don’t believe it, you build barriers, your defense mechanism kicks in, you can’t cope with another story ending in another loss.
I was away when Lori decided to pee on a stick, it wasn’t something we were expecting to happen, although Lori’s had to pee on a lot of sticks in her time, this was just a fluke, we were just about to embark on IVF the following day, literally, the following day, we hadn’t been trying. I got a skype from Lori, she just showed me the stick. I screamed. Read into that what you will.
Then this happened:
At 6 weeks we had a scan.
At 8 weeks we had a scan.
At 10 weeks we had a scan.
At 13 weeks we had a scan.
At 15 weeks we had a scan.
At 17 weeks we had a scan
At 19 weeks we had a scan.
At 21 weeks we had a scan.
At 28 weeks we had a scan.
At 37 weeks we had a scan.
And there were two common themes throughout all of the scans (and all the other check-ups the NHS supported us with):
1. We were having a baby.
2. We couldn’t believe we were having a baby.
And this is awful, but true, but because of how worried we were that something painful might happen, as it had so many times already, we didn’t manage to give ourselves the hope that this pregnancy might be okay; we didn’t really think this was going to be, and because of this, we couldn’t bring ourselves to decide upon a name. We were selfishly too scared of our future suffering.
So, the great news is that our expectant date is now nearly upon us, and yes we are truly thankful and grateful, and yes there is still doubt, but now we are being strong, and now we need a name. However, it can’t just be any name, it needs to be a name that fits, a name that describes everything that she will be to us, a name that tells the whole world how incredible it is that she is going to be here with us. A name that is perfect.
The realisation that our baby will hopefully soon be here has led us to get baby name books, scroll through naming websites, pay particular interest to any names we hear wherever we are, but we still haven’t found perfect yet. We haven’t found the name that says how much we love her, how happy we are that she will be with us so soon, how it’s been so hard to get here, how so much of our lives had so much sorrow and pain, how we are allowing hope to take over, how our hearts are fuller, how unbelievably lucky we feel we are, how she is going to have the best big brother she could wish for, how I will never want to let go of her hand, how our family will be complete and perfect, for us.
What’s in a name? Everything.
*Linking in with bumps and babies
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This is such a beautifully written post. Sending love to you all. It's been a privilege sharing some of the journey with you. I just can't wait to meet her!
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post 💓 hope you find her name 😚
ReplyDeleteDelilah? It means desired and reminds me of delight & sunlight...so unbelievably happy for you both x
ReplyDeleteOh this had me welling up! I'm, so happy and excited for you all and really can't wait until she is here, whatever you decide her name to be!
ReplyDeleteThis is so, so beautifully written. I pulled a few favourites that spring to mind from your journey...
ReplyDeleteAbigail - meaning “my father is joyful”!!
Beatrix/ce (or Bea) - meaning “bringer of joy”
Dawn - because isn’t that what she brings? :)
Elin - meaning “light”
Eliana - meaning “answered prayer”
Felicity (I know, but it fits!) - meaning happiness
Lydia - meaning “beautiful one”
Phoebe - meaning “bright and shining”
Thalia - meaning “to bloom”
Wishing you all so much happiness and a healthy birth!
Felicity x
Oh girls names came to us flowing and we found out we are having a boy so I have listed upon lists if you need ideas... this is so beautiful name is so important I am struggling for boys names. Would be fab post for Thursday bumps and babies linky too wink wink... ok some girl names do you like girlie or strong, short or long? Ember, Emberly, Emberlynn, Abigail, Abbie, Bryn, Brynlee, Aria, Kinley, Kimberlyn, Katelyn, Libby, so many irish and american here but thought I would throw some out that I don't see on the other comments above. :) So excited for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you ever so much for linking up to BUMPS & BABIES xoxoxo
DeleteBeautifully said...your little girl is going to be so strong and full of life just like her mam - have you considered Zoe a strong name meaning "life"? Can't wait to hear of her arrival - love to you all xxx
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post. I'm no help I'm afraid. I've got quite a way to go yet (another 20 weeks) but haven't got any clue for either a boy or girl. We didn't name either of the other two until they were here and their names just suited them. I'm sure you will find the perfect name :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post, like you with our first at the 20 week scan we knew what we were going to call our little boy. However this time around, we haven't a clue what to call our second child. I think it won't be until very late on that we decide! #bumpsandbabies
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post and and an incredible journey. I can totally understand why it's been hard to relax and I think the perfect name takes time. We had a few in mind we had decided on with our second but then we he arrived none of them suited so he was without a name for the first two weeks and we are so glad we took the time. You will know the right one when it comes and it will be perfect. Laura x
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. We didn't really even discuss names while I was pregnant, and we didn't find out the gender, so our poor baby boy was nameless for 17 days. I'm pretty sure he didn't mind though! x #Bumps&Babies
ReplyDeleteBaby's names are so important. It forms the rest of their lives in my opinion. Our baby is the result of IVF so I completely understand how you must have felt. We knew his name from the outset - at least my other half did! I came round to it and now I love it. #bumpsandbabies
ReplyDelete