12 October 2015
AND THEN YOU WERE FIVE
But I didn't want to let it slip by without reflecting on what this day means to me, to us.
Yep I officially have a five year old, FIVE! I'm sure I said the same when you turned four and there's no doubt I'll greet each year with same bewildered smile as weeks and months blend into years...and yet I'm not quite ready, in fact I don't think I've ever been ready for any of this, but somehow you've always known that and that's OK.
When you first entered the world not crying as expected but silent, wriggling under my gown blinking up at me I panicked. This small new person loving me, calm in my arms knowing I was safe even though I was scared. I asked for you to be taken off me, to be handed over to your daddy, and still you stayed calm. No tears, just quiet and seemingly patience, waiting for me to catch up to you.
Over the years you have remained that way. My beautiful boy, so calm and kind, you have been patient with me and loving, always loving. In times where I have been swallowed by grief from babies lost, struggled under dark clouds, where tempers have frayed and I have felt lost, you have been a beacon of light in stormy waters. You have shown such kindness and love, with whispered words that could melt a thousand hearts. When I felt like I was not enough, you hugged me closer and when I thought I was about to break inside you made me smile, and no doubt as I teach you all I know and help pave your way in life, you will undoubtedly teach me more than I could ever imagine.
...and now you are five, starting school, navigating your own little life and I could not be more proud of you. My little love, my boy.